A couple of years ago I started teaching a workshop I call the Art of Empowerment. Beyond a martial arts class, it teaches simple street self-defense techniques and emphasizes mindfulness and awareness to create a sense of protection.
I started teaching the class because I knew what it was like to be scared. Before confronting the source of my fear, it didn’t matter that I was strong or knew how to fight. I’d still walk around terrified that something could happen.
The source of my fear was childhood trauma. Complex PTSD is developed when you have prolonged exposure to dangerous circumstances. For me, that meant growing up in a tough place that was infested with crime and drugs.
Understanding the source of my fear helped me defuse it. Knowing why I reacted the way I would allow me to see myself from the outside and realize I was being irrational. I was responding to the past, not the present.
Being on edge made every situation potentially dangerous and made me defensive. Any perceived attack was met with anger, which I used to overcompensate for the fear of confrontation.
And that’s what lots of us do. We jump to conclusions when confronted with some form of human resistance. We think we are being attacked.
But just like knowing our triggers helps us calm ourselves down, understanding the potential triggers of other people can help us empathize and find compassion for them. Without our defensive reactions, we can listen better, and be the bigger person when someone else is being reactive.
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